I always want to do something different. I’ve seen a lot of girls shaving their hair and I thought, “Damn! They look good as fuck!”. I thought about cutting it off for a couple month cause it was a big commitment and normally I don’t give a fuck, I just do it. But hair defines such a big part of you, so cutting it off would be a big change.
When I finally did cut it off it was so much nicer. I didn’t even realize how much I was worrying about my hair until it was gone. With long hair sometimes your hair looks really good and other times it looks really fucked up. But I loved having my long hair because it was a creative outlet for me. I would dye it and do other stuff with it. With short hair, it's the opposite. There is only so much you can do with it. Sometimes I really wanna go off and do a specific hairdo but I can’t.
I remember in the very beginning I was like “Oooh I look REALLY GOOD!” and then for a bit I was like “Oh. I’m kinda looking like an egg right now...” but I couldn’t do anything about it since I was fucking bald. I don’t really feel like I’ve lost anything. I have other ways to use my body as a creative outlet. I can make up for my short hair in other ways like makeup, clothes, and I’m trying to get into wigs—so there’s that too.
I just had to learn how to love myself even more. I already felt pretty confident in myself, but having nothing to hide behind made me even more confident. I’m the realest version of me that I have felt in a long time.